Invisible

I got this email this morning and I couldn't have received a better gift. The challenges and triumphs of motherhood have been leaning hard toward the "challenging" side lately, and it's been weighing heavily on my mind.

Take the time to read this if you will.... I promise it will inspire you.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "what number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."


I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?


One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from the fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."


In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work; No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God  saw everything.


A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof; No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."


I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."


At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.


The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.


When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom get up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're going to love it here."


As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.



God Bless and Enjoy Another Great Day!!!

The Only Fighting I Welcome

When I see flush cheeks, sluggish appetites and lazying around I know visually it looks like my children are in need of rest. But underneath the facade of sleeping their body is hard at work.
I look closer and see tired eyes, drained faces and a red little nose, then I hear a gurgle in their cough and catch a sneeze with a tissue and know these fun sounds are the bodies way to help expel the congestion, the feel of fire all over their head and neck is the fever that's fighting an infection, and the amount of kleenex and empty water bottles all over the couch shows that although the cold is underway, it also is proof that their bodies are doing exactly what they were built to do.

There are times I feel helpless and I do my best to make them as comfortable as possible, pack the fridge with plenty of fluids, and take the frequent trips to the store to pick up chicken noodle soup and the fixin's for a grilled cheese(once the appetite is back in full swing it is a great complement to any soup) and stock up the hall closet with paper goods(tissues, tp, etc.) and good old vitamin C. I know their little bodies are hard at work, fighting a war at a molecular level, trying every trick to regain their health. I don't usually like to visit the doctor unless the war has gone on too long, or it is too big of a job to do alone. Sometimes a little Tylenol is a big relief for a never ending headache that was brought on by a high fever. Or maybe the culprit is bacterial and therefore needs extra forces of antibiotics to knock them out. But I generally believe the body will be able to fight less complex wars all by itself.

After a long day of sleeping on the couch, waking up occasionally to have a sip on hot tea and a bowl of soup. Then mastering an uncomfortable night of tossing and turning covering up with blankets and kicking them off again. Waking up refreshed healthy and brand new, it is just a wonderful thought that our bodies were made to take on whatever challenge comes our way! I welcome this fight every cold and flu season or whenever small germs lurk in dark corners, our bodies can take it, bring it on!

Happy New Year!

We welcomed the new year with fabulous friends, an easy bake oven, Disney Headbands, and prime entertainment. We always get together and celebrate the year that is gone, and dream of what is to be. 2012 was a roller coaster to say the least, but we made it. I am a proud mother of three amazing children, I survived a soccer season with two kids playing and one on my hip, I baked cupcakes, team snacks, took photos, and cheered on two teams. I watched my daughter dance, and my son earn his first awards for cub scouts, and I praised my baby as he first rolled over and sat himself up. I exclusively breastfed(not a single bottle) for a solid six months, I also started making my own baby food. I also beamed with pride when my oldest came home with "Student of the Month" twice in 2012. As we enjoyed our sparkling cider we laughed, and reminisced on how fast the year went by. And we made our plans for the new year, I made a small list of new year resolutions, items I believe I can keep up with all year long:

-go on my four mile walk every weekday
-follow through with what I tell my children
-make more time for "me" time, and time with family and friends
-take more photos, and live in each moment

It is not much of a list, but I am sure I can keep up with it. Every year I make resolutions that sound fantastic on paper, but applying them to every day life was not impossible, but impractical.
I know 2013 will fly by too, and there is soooo much to look forward to; ballet, scouts, weddings, first birthdays, school programs, sports, milestone birthdays, the list goes on...
I picked simple but obviously reasonable resolutions that I know I can keep. I have my new calendar/monthly planner ready to start filling in important dates, reminders, classes, vacations, volunteering opportunities, you name it- it will be on there. The more events, the better. I love to be busy! Bring it on!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Days blend into one another, time seems to tick-tock slowly, and then blink...

Six months have flown by, you roll over, sit up and are ready for your first bite of solid food. your smiles beam and glow all day long, a big toothless grin, your are so proud of yourself in each of your accomplishments and you are over all a happy-go-lucky guy.
I pick up my 21 pounds of joy, you are quick to grab my face and pull yourself in for the routine "million kisses", you love kisses. You even try to pucker up, instead you shower me with raspberries.
You are constantly studying the world, it is a very interesting and busy world. You are patient, you play with the wipes while I change your diaper, you watch me while I make dinner, you smile as I wipe the extra food off of your face and hands. You are a wonderful little guy, and you are growing waaayyyy too fast. It seems as if it was only yesterday we brought you home, and put you in "newborn" clothing, today you are only six months old and you have been wearing size 5 diapers and 12 month clothing for a month and a half. You love your brother and sister, and they are mesmerized and simply adore you. You light up when they come into the room, if you are in your bouncer you jump and giggle and smile, you just cannot contain yourself. I love snuggling with you, nursing you, kissing you, reading to you, running errands with you, doing everything with you, I just love you!
I am enjoying each and every moment that goes by, I cannot wait to see what the next six months has in store!
You are my love, my joy, my everything.

My Heart is Broken for the Families In Newtown, Connecticut

Everyday I make sure to hug and kiss my babies as much as possible. Today I hugged and kissed them as my face flooded with tears. My heart broke for all of those families who lost their babies and loved ones this morning in the Connecticut Elementary School Shooting this morning.
As I held my children we recited the Lords Prayer:

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

How can someone splash terror and horror over those families and all of those children??? How can someone just take innocent lives, how can someone look at a young child and knowingly take their life?? Not only did parents lose their babies; a future of smiles, laughter, birthdays, graduations, weddings and the unknown; but small innocent children who did survive witnessed pure evil, these are images no child should ever have to see. 

There are just 10 days until Christmas, this should be the season of giving, the season of hope, dreams and love. The sounds of beautiful Christmas songs should be filling the air, I couldn't think of any, for five minutes we were all quiet, then "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day" filled out little huddle:

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."

Till, ringing singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

As I hugged my children, and their puzzled faces at my display of affection, their innocent questioning as to why I was in hysterics, and their patience with me as I loved and sang to them. I couldn't imagine any of them being gone forever. In the back of my mind, a flashback to when my brother passed away, a memory I can never erase, I remember my father coming home from work, his face red and wet from tears and him dropping to his knees to hug and kiss us. I've only seen my dad cry a few times in my life, and never like that. I don't know what its like to loose my own baby, but to lose a new, young life just hurts my mind and body and especially my heart.

This horrible event shouldn't have happened. Not now, not ever. Virginia Tech, and Columbine shouldn't have occurred either. I wish our children were growing up in a world where sadness, tragedy and horror did not exist, I wish they would all grow up with the feeling of peace and the would would be a safe place all of the time. This Christmas song describes the sound of the sweet bells chiming over all of the hopelessness and despair that exists. And although there is sadness and horror in the world, the bells of Christmas are joyous and Gods presence is true. There will be peace here on Earth and good will toward mankind.

My New Man

The past few months have been quite busy, we finished up first grade, had a ballet recital, completed the tiger trail and welcomed a new man into our world.

The last month has been filled with little to no rest, gazing into each others eyes, walks around the block, and it is so easy to get lost in each moment. Tommy and Annaleah LOVE him, they love talking to him and introducing new things to him. I love going out and about with him, cuddling with him and I love spending all of my time with him! I cannot believe it has only been a month, but it seems like he has been here forever, he is just perfect with our family. I never imagined life could be this wonderful, where has he been all my life?!

I am proud to have three great children. If you were to ask me a year ago if I was going to have any more children, "I have two, that's one for each hand. No more for me." would be the most likely answer I would have given. Here I am today, I look into my new little man's bright eyes, watching him study my face and the world around him, feeling his strong hands grab and hold tight to my fingers, the sleepless nights, the tiny clothes and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

Unwrapped

After a busy weekend with a flooded dining room, two handy men, one plumber, six children, regular everyday chores, late nights and early mornings I decided to just curl up on the couch and watch the television. Anyone who watches television during the day will know there is really nothing on. So I sit there watching the reruns of some food network shows I have already seen then a new episode of "Unwrapped" comes on. Finally something new! I was very excited! This episode was a hot one, from chewy fireballs to extreme hot sauce and chocolate that was so beautiful with a blast of heat I was glued to the television. Now, I have had some really random cravings lately but when I saw a dish that was served at the Cheesecake Factory I had an urgency to try it. I needed to get in the car and drive to the restaurant as quickly as possible to try this chicken, shrimp hot pasta dish!
Usually when I watch television or see something that I would like to have, or eat, I am pretty patient. I can wait for something to come in the mail(having the mail/delivery truck drop off a package is like Christmas to me), I can wait for the clerk to ring up an item and package it up and I don't even peak in the bag until I get home, and I can order food to go and not snack on the french fries in the car when driving to my destination. But something about this episode and that dish made me so impatient that I had to go get lunch! Once we arrived to the Cheesecake Factory we sat ordered beverages and I quickly asked the server about the item I saw on the show. She pointed it out, and let me know it has a strong kick and lots of heat, she also said it was very good and I didn't pay attention to anything she said, other than "it is a popular item and it is very good" I ordered it!
When the Cajun Jambalaya Pasta was placed in front of me I was utterly delighted and couldn't wait to dig in. The Delicious Chicken and Shrimp with sauteed onions, tomato, and peppers coated in a spicy Cajun sauce served over Linguini was just wonderful! Absolutely Brilliant! I even decided to balance out the dish with a slice of cheesecake, the smooth dessert after a spicy hot meal was a perfect way to have lunch! I will be going back for seconds, thirds, etc. Thanks to the show "Unwrapped" and having a Cheesecake Factory nearby it brought a silver lining to my otherwise overcast weekend!